According to 23andme, I’m about 99.3% Chinese. My bf and I observed that my cousin is like, 99.6% Chinese, so I’m not the most Chinese. I was also born in the US, my cousin was born in Hong Kong. Whatever, I guess my DNA is Chinese enough to consider me Chinese.

Just FYI, I didn’t suffer any racist hate crimes. I didn’t get punched in the face or shot or anything. I’m fine.

I’m mostly posting today to just share my thoughts, not really so much to draw attention to myself just because I’m Asian, and stuff has been springing up on social media due to the recent shootings in Georgia. I mean if I wanted to, I’d say something about it on Twitter or some other platform, but I assume not many read my blog here. I really don’t want to make that huge a fuss. Not really for myself, but if anything, more in support of others who are suffering.

I also find it interesting that I’ve been seeing tweets made by my old college schoolmates on my feed for the first time, RT’d or liked by my mutuals. They’ve been tweeting about the recent anti-Asian hate crimes. My old schoolmates seem to be fairly popular on social media. I was just scrubbing through my timeline and saw a few of them and went “Oh, wow, I know/met these people IRL. And their tweets have a ton of interactions.” Meh, I’m not gonna reach out to them though, I’m antisocial.

Anyway, I can’t say I haven’t been scared to leave my home since this pandemic started. Not just because of Covid, but I have been mildly afraid of getting punched or something just because of how I look. I don’t want anyone worrying about me though. I’m extremely privileged, I’ve literally left this apartment building like only 3 times the past 12 months, and I prefer never to leave my apartment anyway since I bury my nose in work all the time. I can absolutely afford to keep living like this anyway and be happy.

I think about how Muslims must have been feeling after 9/11. The Islamophobia just sprang up and I guess… never really died down? I mean, since Trump relatively recently made that Muslim travel ban. I think right before that, our biggest problem was domestic white terrorism (which is still a problem). The US also has a history of putting Japanese people in concentration camps, as George Takei put it, “simply because we looked like the people that bombed Pearl Harbor.”

Oh yeah, haven’t I mentioned what black people go through all the time and throughout the course of US history?

Mostly I just want to say this, even though it’s pretty obvious to… hopefully most of us. Mostly as a vent I guess.

Where the hell is the productivity in harming or killing people just because of the way they look? All the people who have been hurt or killed because they *looked* like the perpetrators of some incident had nothing to do with the incident.

Unfortunately I think a lot of Islamophobic people only see the loudest, most alarming self-proclaimed Muslim terrorists and think that’s what represents all Muslims.

I keep thinking though… where the hell is the sense in the violence against people who simply look Chinese? I’ve heard of some 90-something-year-old asian man get shoved over in the streets of someplace in some China Town in California. Like, really?! Like “Oh this’ll really show China, that’ll show them to spread the kung-flu next time!”

Oh and of course, whatever that guy was thinking when shooting and killing those asian women in Georgia. Same idea.

Lol. I have mixed feelings right now. Mostly rolling my eyes and laughing.

This isn’t terribly surprising. America is incredibly racist and idiotic. Most Asians in the world are probably the ones taking the precautions to prevent further spread of the virus, because it’s part of… (do I say “our” or “their”?) their culture. I choose to say “their” because I’m in America and I’m an American. America really fucked this up. Here, it’s all about “individual freedoms.” In Asia, I definitely see that people are much more conscious and considerate of each other at least in terms of public health. They don’t just save themselves. They save others in their own country and also people around the world from getting infected. Sure, the Chinese government fucked up, but I don’t go punching or shooting a random schoolmate if I know I caught a cold from going to school during flu season. I stay the fuck home and try to get better asap so I’m not a risk to others. Now I understand why many east asians wear masks all the time. I honestly used to think it was silly. But now I realize they’re just smart and considerate.

I’m also realizing my real mistake. I keep trying to put some sense into why people are getting hurt or killed from racist-driven violence. Unarmed, innocent members of the black community have been suffering all this time. I’m not trying to imply that victims of racism deserved what they got. I’m certain that most of us don’t. It’s all politics and brainwashing by certain media outlets. Mostly conservatives. Again. Probably the biggest parasite of America. Sorry but not really sorry to say, but it’s true. They perpetuate toxic and false talking points, and build up people like Donald Trump.

I keep forgetting. This is what white supremacists want. This is what conservatives want. There’s no sense in how they think except if you think from their perspective. It brings outlets like Fox News more views and more brainwashing power so that people continue to vote against their own interests. The Republican party is just that. The people at the top profit, while the voters of the GOP are complete suckers. There is no way Republicans can win without cheating and tactics that come at the cost of human lives.

Aside from racism, I want to rant about guns. Let me be very clear.

I fucking hate guns. If you are an avid gun advocate and continue to think guns are some God-given right and that the 2nd Amendment is sacred or some bullshit like that, stay the hell away from me.

Yeah, I realize I draw and paint guns a lot, my characters carry guns all the time, but that’s one thing. We have violence and all kinds of vulgarity and indecency in our entertainment. That’s mostly fine. But in real life, that’s completely different. In real life, I’m completely against guns. Especially with the way my own country handles guns.

Every single country has their set of people who are mentally unwell. There’s a high chance a bunch of people in any given country are violent. That’s to be expected.

But what makes the US so unique is our volume of firearms. No other country has a higher volume of guns than we do. We have more guns than the amount of people in our country. Pretty much every single week, some shooting makes it on the news. That I know of, at least. But I know pretty much every single day, people are getting shot to death. Every year in the US, death by firearms is somewhere between 30,000 to 40,000. The ones you hear about are usually mass shootings. Many are accidents, like children accidentally shooting their parents or siblings. About half of the total firearm-related deaths are suicide. And goddammit, don’t tell me suicides don’t fucking count.

Every country has their set of violent people, it’s just that the US has the highest volume of the very tool that is designed specifically for one thing and one thing only: killing people. Killing people quickly. Plus not enough regulations around them.

“If criminals don’t have guns, they’ll find a way to kill people anyway. Are we gonna ban knives too?”

Chris Rock articulates the answer to this very well.

“…’if the gunman would’ve had a knife, he could have stabbed 100 people to death’…

… If 100 people ever got stabbed at the same time in the same place by the same person, you know what that would mean?

97 people deserved to die.

What, you just watching this shit? Oh shit somebody got stabbed. Ooh, they stabbed somebody else. Oh, they stabbed somebody else. Ooh he getting closer! Ooh he stabbed me! I didn’t see that coming! Oh he stabbed the lady behind me!'”

People are way too fucking casual about a life-ending tool. I hear too much “Guns are so cool yo!” kind of shit. I hear people being thoroughly brainwashed into thinking they need to buy more guns because the government is going to take them away from us, or they need to be prepared in case of government tyranny.

Well, you guys stormed the capitol but got your asses arrested after showing off on social media. And then over 20,000 troops got deployed there for the inauguration. How are your guns gonna help now?

Mass shootings never got prevented by “a good guy with a gun.” You’re not safer when you own a firearm. That firearm is way more likely to get discharged at a loved one or yourself. Gun laws help to reduce gun violence. When we wear seatbelts for car accidents or masks to prevent infection, of course none of these things completely solve the problem, but they greatly reduce the problems we run into. Reduction is absolutely worth aiming for. It could mean your own life is spared, or that of your child or a friend — anyone. I fucking hate it when people say “Doing that doesn’t completely solve the problem.” Well yeah, condoms and birth control pills are never 100% effective, but they create a huge reduction in risks. It’s about maximizing our chances of living, and minimizes our chances of getting people hurt or killed.

But I forget again. My mistake is trying to talk sense to people. Conservative media and our ridiculous American culture perpetuate these senseless talking points. Guns are America’s precious binky that we will probably never do away with.

Just so we’re clear, here’s how I’d break down the cause of death of the mass shooting victims:

White supremacy/privilege
Volume of guns in America
Lack of gun regulation
Brainwashing by conservative media

My sincere condolences to the families of the recent victims of the mass shooting.

I’m sorry to say that America’s just gonna keep having more victims of mass shootings, and we’re numb to this ritual. Well, I am anyway.
I guess I’ll go and donate to the ACLU or something.