I’m trying really hard not to pander to my audience. Most of the energy of this project is coming from me, and I hope it always stays that way. I hope I always stay determined to get this out and am more excited about it than anyone.

I already knew that at least some parts of “The Anaether” would be met with disapproval in some form. I haven’t gotten any actual hate or anything like that, and I shouldn’t be surprised at that eventuality and I’m not trying hard to avoid that nor directly invite that (and I’ll deal with that separately whenever that moment comes). I just kind of forgot that probably most people wouldn’t like the smut I’ve been making. But now that I’ve put my stuff out here, it feels like somewhere between 75% to 95% of the audience would really not approve of my adult content. Intellectually I would understand why that is, I try to think the best of people and know that it’s simply a matter of taste and it’s okay for people to be not into what I’m into.

Intellectually is the operative word here, though. Once the moment actually comes, I’m experiencing it, and the experience is more real and physical — it’s not abstract anymore, and I’m just saying right now it hurts.

I’m just allowing myself to just soak in that moment, and trying to be okay with it.

I’d already observed that there seems to be almost no male futanari characters out there, that they’re all basically females with male parts. If there are males with girl parts, they have the male chest but no male equipment and only the lower girl parts. They seem to be called “cuntboys” or “pussyboys.” Perhaps I haven’t dug through the internet enough to find the extremely obscure hidden treasure trove of futanari dudes. Maybe I’m one out of the .000000001% of the internet pervert population that happens to be into futanari dudes (as opposed to what everyone else thinks of as futa). More specifically, android alien futanari dudes.

There seems to be no proper term for what Vas is, gender-wise. As I mentioned, I’ve been drawing Vas as an OC for myself for many years and never made it a huge deal to show it to people because Vas was mostly just for me. Vas technically fits into the category of futanari, by Wikipedia’s definition (hermaphroditism or androgyny) — but I should have known better than to cite Wikipedia, because I was met with disappointment when I kept tagging Vas as such. Every other informal dictionary or glossary on other sites would categorize futanari as a hermaphrodite with female breasts or just a female with a penis or even better, you’d simply observe that from searching on porn or hentai sites.

I’m going to keep drawing erotic scenes with Vas in them. I did spend a whole lot of time on this animation, though it was agony, I’m glad I did it. I did the best I could with it and I am pleased with the result. I probably disappointed a lot of people when they saw it, but I think I just haven’t found my audience yet, and so far people haven’t been mean (it hasn’t even been a month yet since I started posting this stuff…). People generally have been very kind to me. I’m just feeling an intense sense of not fitting in, which is a little too familiar.

In spite of that, I’m just going to get over myself and keep doing what I was going to do anyway. Vas, and now “The Anaether,” represents me in the most authentic way and there’s nothing else better to do with my time. All I want to do is put out my best work. I’m definitely not the first nor only one who’s put herself out there and has been met with less than positive reception.

I’m feeling much better already.
Thank you for listening.